8:25 am: [walking from my car to my office] “Hssssssssssssss!! Watch out, she’s the white devil!!”
10:05 am: [walking to the store] “Look out folks! We’ve got a live one! You know what I always say, don’t trust the pretty ones, she’s bound to burn ya!”
11:15: [in my office]
Mr. F: Miss R., we need to find you a man with a library card.
Me: A library card? Why? What about a job or driver’s license — why would he need a library card?
Mr. F: See, this is what I am talking about — I am trying to reset the bar for you, as you clearly have made it too high.
Me: Okay fine, but still, I’d prefer someone with a driver’s license at least, even if he is unemployed.
Mr. F: [sighing] Let’s just start with a library card, okay? Baby steps, Miss R., baby steps.