[I just came back from a trip to visit a friend in Nebraska]
Mr. C (grabbing my left hand): Miss R., what did I tell you?? I thought we agreed that you would stay in Nebraska until you caught yourself a husband.
Me: Well actually no, WE did not agree on this — YOU did.
Mr. C: Well Miss R, it’s for your own good. I bet you didn’t even follow my advice did you?
Me: Ummmm, refresh my memory as to what that was…
Mr. C (now a bit exasperated): Ugggh Miss R!! I told you to go out there and act stupid, men DO NOT like girls who are smart. What did you do, talk politics? Chemistry? What??!! Crap, I think marrying you off is going be a little harder than I first thought, don’t get mad if I don’t come see your for a few days, I am bit distraught right now that I have to come up with yet another plan to get you married….