Miss H: Miss R., are you doing okay today?
Me: I sure am, why, what’s up?
Miss H: You’re sure? You didn’t have a fight with your man or somethin’ this morning?
Me: Ha! Nope, sure didn’t. Why do you ask?
Miss H: Well, I kinda figured there had to be a reason you wore that outfit you’ve got on — like, maybe you and your man got into a fight and you just grabbed whatever was closest to you, threw it on and stormed out of the house in protest.
Are you telling me you just decided that, that was a cute outfit and put it on like normal?
Me: (laughing) That is exactly what I’m telling you — in fact, your theory has a few holes, one being that I am not dating anyone right now.
Miss H: Ohhhh, well….I mean, in that case, it’s ummm, not so bad….but maybe you oughta consider dressing a little different though if you do in fact want to start dating more. Let me know, I can help.
Me: I will absolutely let you know if I decide to start dressing for man-hunting season.
Later on I showed someone a picture of my roommate and I by our new Christmas tree (in the same outfit), to which he responded with, “Wow, your roommate is hot and you….you look like her little elf helper!”
note to self: aforementioned outfit is to be modified….or burned.
Rachel Karman 