My dear friend Miss B. (see also hello gov’na! ) came into my office today and informed me (once again in her faux Brittish accent) that she would be case managing me today and not vis-versa:
Miss B: Miss R., now tell me, how old are your children? (pointing to a picture on my desk)
Me: I don’t have any, Miss B., those are my best friend’s kids.
Miss B: (aghast) Wait! WHAT?! You don’t have any, not even ONE?!
Me: Wait a minute, I don’t case manage YOU like that! I never act appalled when you tell me things, come on, you’re not supposed to make me feel bad, as my case manager!
Miss B: Oh no, no, no — we are no longer playing this case manager game, this sh*t got serious! You are almost 25 young lady, you need to start having kids, this is ridiculous!
Me: Actually, I am 29, but thank you for the compliment.
Miss B: Oh no, that was no compliment, Miss R….dear me, this is worse than I thought….
Me: No way, I’ll have kids when I am good and ready. When did you have your first child?
Miss B: 14 years ago and not a minute late.
Me: How old are you?
Miss B: 50…why?
Me: Wait, but that would have made you……oh never mind, I’ll start looking into adopting.
Rachel Karman 