good game.

Today I went to an elderly daycare to pick up one of my residents.  I was a bit frazzled because she had been left there past her pick-up time by accident.  As I ran in I was greeted by a very small elderly woman who smacked my in the arse and began speaking so quickly in what I thought was Mandarin (Chinese?  Japanese perhaps?).  She stopped and looked at me very expectantly, as I, even more frazzled now, looked toward the lady at the front desk who stated, “Evidently Miss [I missed her name entirely still feeling a little sting on my bum] would like you to give her a ride home.”

To which I replied, “Please apologize to her, as I can’t, but let her know I am impressed, disturbed and still a bit shocked by her asking tactics.”

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xmas shopping.

“Oh!  Miss R., it looks like you’re all ready to do some Christmas shopping….!”

“Huh?  Well, yeah ok.  I mean, I bought two presents this last weekend, but what?  What the heck are you talking about?”

“Well you seem to have your shopping bags right their under your eyes!” (cracking up)

“Oh.  Hmph.  Thanks man.” (not cracking up)

oh so greatful.

The highlight of my Thanksgiving Eve today at work was a “Tree of Thankfulness” that I put together, to give my residents an opportunity (read: forced) to reflect on what they are thankful for, write it down on a card and hang from the tree.

My favorite card read: “I am greatful for Miss R. and my health (I think).”

coyote not-so-ugly.

Each month the folks I work with are required to attend a community meeting which myself and another co-worker facilitate.  This last month’s was a nightmare; it reminded me a lot of when I used to substitute teach crazy rowdy classes, only instead of standing in front of 30 screaming and yelling students between the ages of 5-18, I was in front of 40 cursing and threatening  formerly homeless men and women between the ages of 27-70.

As I began to speak about the most commonly broken rules within the housing complex one man in particular started to GO OFF; cussing, screaming, spitting – which began a small riot of sorts; some yelling at him, some at me, some simply yelling just for kicks.  Just when I started to shake a little and think “Oh goodness, this may never stop,” I heard what sounded awfully similar to the noise one might hear in a deserted desert.  I stood up in order to get a better vantage point and saw Miss S., my slightly rounder, pale-faced, pig-tailed resident in a wheelchair (note: whom has full walking capabilities) perched up howling.  She continued until the ruckus died down, at which point she simply smiled and leaned back into her chair as the meeting continued. Continue reading “coyote not-so-ugly.”

mis-matched.

One of my residents walked into my office this morning and declared “Well crap, it’s getting cold again so you know what that means; You gonna pull out all the clothes you own and put them all on together whether they match or not.   I mean, you got some cute clothes, but that doesn’t mean you have to wear them all on the same day.  Man, it’s no wonder you work with homeless people Miss R., you know just how to dress like em!  Fatten up or somethin’, then you won’t be so cold and mis-matchy.”

joke telling.

While waiting for group to start this afternoon I asked one of my residents if he knew any good jokes.

His response:

Mr. RR: Why did the man stop the roller coaster when it was upside down?

Me: I don’t know, why?

Mr. RR: So he could catch the money that fell out of people’s pockets.

Me: That’s a real joke??

Mr. RR: Nah, I just think it’s a good idea.