i think i’ve got the black lung, pop.

This afternoon one of my residents came in so that I could assist him in filling out some Medicare forms.  I was going through them quickly, answering most of the questions without asking him, as I knew the answers already.  Halfway through one form he stopped me and said “Wait, wait, wait, Miss R., you checked that I don’t in fact have black lung.”

“You’re kidding Mr. B.?  I had no idea you had black lung – how did you get it,” I replied.

Rather inquisitively he responded, “Really Miss R.?  You’re a smart girl, but what do you mean?  Look at me, I AM BLACK and have lungs – what part of that doesn’t make sense???”

beyonce.

I was walking to a training down the street this morning when I walked by a homeless man who gave me the once over and began spittin’ out compliments.  I gave him a half-smile and proceeded to walk by.  When I had passed him and my back to him I heard him holler “Baby girl, come back — you look like a star, like Beyonce…..sh*t, that doesn’t work, she’s white.  [to his friend] Man, who’s a white celebrity who’s fine and white?!  Come on man hurry, give me a name, I gotta get her to come back!”

bee keeper.

During lunch today one of my residents told me that he really wanted to feed the local bee that was threateningly flying around the eating area.  We attempted to make a safe feeding contraption, but in the end (after about 35 mins.), the styrofoam cup worked the best.  Oddly enough, I seemed to enjoy this victory as much as he did.

sweet success!

olsen twins.

This afternoon I walked into the common area of the apartments, where many residents often congregate and overheard two of them arguing.  When I asked what they were arguing about one replied, “Miss W. told me I am racists!  That is ridiculous!”

I turned to Miss W., whom quickly retorted “She IS racist, she said you look like the Olsen twins, which is silly, you don’t look like them at all and so I told her that she is obviously racist and thinks all white girls look alike!”

(at which point they both stormed out)

aloha.

I just got back from a week-long vacation.  When I came in this morning one of my residents inquired as to where I had been.  When I told him I had been in Hawaii he responded with “Oooooooh man, that must have been a really long drive!”

Aloha.