Me too.

The card was kind of dumb if you ask me; it read: “Name the animal you most identified with before getting help for your problem.”

What are we, 12? I thought, but then again, I’d chosen this exercise for our discussion group, I really had no one to blame but myself.

“Come on Miss Rachel, you have to pick another one, that one doesn’t work for people whose problems are more about their cars breaking down than anything else.”

I wasn’t hurt, I understood where he was coming from, but I also knew he was wrong.

I hesitated. “I umm…well…I have had bigger problems than that.”

“Oh yeah, tell us then; if we have to share, you have to share.”

That’s fair. Continue reading “Me too.”

Playing Favorites.

Ms. WB: Miss Rachel, you just turned 32? That’s a great year! I had my favorite child when I was 32.

Me: I thought mom’s weren’t supposed to have favorites?

Ms. WB: Uh-oh, if that’s what your mama told you then it means your brother is hers.


Well crap. (But let’s be honest, I always suspected this.)

Miley Cyrus, an Ice Bucket and a Hipster Walk Into a Bar…

Alright, alright, alright, enough of you dear folks have written to me asking me my thoughts on Hannah Montana…err Miley Cyrus’ MTV VMA stunt on Sunday that I felt I really ought to address it. Truthfully, I have put it off all day, mainly due to the fact that I am about to defend Hannah…err Miley and that is not something I have ever wanted to do.

Sunday night, for those of you that missed it and/or are too lazy to click on the above link, Miley Cyrus, instead of personally accepting her MTV VMA award for her video Wrecking Ball, sent a 22-year-old (homeless? formerly homeless? this was never made clear) gentleman on stage to accept the award on her behalf and make a speech challenging viewers to join Miley in championing the cause to care for homeless youth in LA. On her Facebook page she encourages folks to donate with the incentive to enter a lottery in which there is a chance to win a trip to Rio with her. Continue reading “Miley Cyrus, an Ice Bucket and a Hipster Walk Into a Bar…”

Filling the Bleachers.

“Rachel, guess what?!” I heard Linda yelling at me just before she came into eyesight and bounded into my office. “Guess where I’ve been… go on, guess…okay no, you don’t need to! I’ve been at a treatment center for three weeks and have been clean and sober for 13 days!”

“Thirteen days?! That is AMAZING! I am so proud of you!”

And it is.

And I am. Continue reading “Filling the Bleachers.”

Hit On By the Homeless…Dog.

I never really anticipated being the Crazy Dog Lady – I mean, it was never my intention at least. For 5 years I had been the obsessed owner of a sweet (albeit terrified of her own shadow) pit-bull, Bella and she was enough. But that changed the day my friend and co-worker Erin called and told me she had a mission for us.

A little wary and a lot busy, I was cautious when I asked her what this mission would be, but instead of telling me, up popped a picture of two cute little pups who were absolutely filthy and way too skinny. “We have to save these dogs, Rach, they are living outside the mission and don’t have any food or water. I can’t take it anymore.” Continue reading “Hit On By the Homeless…Dog.”

You’ve Got to be Joking Me.

Mr. Luis: Hey Miss Rachel, I learned a new joke, wanna hear it?

Me: Sure! I love jokes.

Mr Luis: Does your face hurt?

Me: Yes, as a matter a fact, it does. I just got my wisdom teeth pulled and…

Mr Luis: Gahhhh!! You ruined everything! You were supposed to say “no” and then I would say “well it’s killing me!” Uggggh.

Me: Well I’m sorry, but my face really does hurt, so what, you want me to lie? I thought you’d appreciate my honesty.

Mr. Luis: You are going to be a crazy mom one day. Continue reading “You’ve Got to be Joking Me.”