Jessica Biel, who??

I think two of the world’s most classic poets can best relay how sorry I am that it’s been so long since I have posted on here:
“It’s been a long time (long time), we shouldn’t of left you (left you),
Without a dope beat to step to (step to, step to, step to, step to).”
–Timbaland & Aaliyah

——–

Mr. CB (new resident): Miss R, it’s very nice to meet you, you appear to be bat-shit crazy, which probably means we will get along good enough, welcome to my life.
[shakes my hand and leaves]

***thus far this has all proven to be true

——–

Mr. CF: Miss R, Since you have been so helpful to me with my finances I’d really like to help you start saving up so yo can have Justin Timberlake’s baby.

Me: Oh yeah? Is that all it takes, money?

Mr. CF: Well yes, first we will buy you some make-up and new clothes because celebrity men prefer well put together women and well, you’re pretty and stuff, but definitely not well put together.

Me: I mean, I am not opposed to marrying JT and having his children, but this seems a bit far-fetched, don’t you think?

Mr. CF: Well Miss R, at the rate you are going I think it’s important we cast a wide net and see what we get back.

Me: Fair enough, let’s get to it then.